Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize