his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I need a hoe opinion
go on
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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