i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wish they made helmets for livers.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
