he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
