I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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