Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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