Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
