Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
