the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
