DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My feet surprised me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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