So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Enjoy the penises
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
