Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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