so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sext me about skeletons
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize