My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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