just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize