Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So squirting runs in the family.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
