Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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