I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
