I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
