I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize