Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
