Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
