Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
