It's just like the Real World with babies
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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