I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
