I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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