Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
