Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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