Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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