Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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