You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Randomize
