She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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