I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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