i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
