Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize