Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
