I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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