i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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