Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
