i jhust puked up my retainher.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
