I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
