we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize