Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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