white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
