i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
