This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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