she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
