I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
