Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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