I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
