Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
