pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
