Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
