u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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