this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize