Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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