If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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