You made me cry and you don't even care
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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