i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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