is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
id be glad to
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
