this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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