and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
