Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
