Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
