how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
