Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
